Step Two:
Get clear on the story of you
because everywhere you go, there you are!

The starting point as we plan this journey is YOU. Your next chapter is all about embracing who you really are. Not the person you have pretended to be because you thought that was who you should be but the real you that’s buried underneath all the other stuff.


This step tends to take longer than the other steps because, by the time we reach our 40’s and 50’s, it can take quite a lot of digging and soul-searching to remember who we are, what we love to do and what makes us feel most alive.

We will work through a number of exercises together to help you to “unravel” and to remember “who you were before the world got its hands on you.” I will also assign you a number of homework assignments to help you to dig even deeper.

The later steps in the process will also illuminate elements of who you are and who you want to be moving forward so the discovery of who you are will continue throughout our work together.


I believe that you know things about yourself that you don’t know that you know. Because you know them on a gut level. You know them beneath the surface.
— Todd Henry

Even if you want to do something very specific like start your own business, this step is invaluable to get clear on how you can launch and grow your business by doing the work that only you can do. If you’re thinking about changing careers, it is vital to have a strong sense of who you are at your core so that you can bring your most natural strengths and talents to your new career. I believe that we will always be most successful when we are harnessing our most natural abilities and talents in pursuit of our most deeply-held passions and beliefs.

If you have lost sight of your most natural abilities, talents, traits and strengths and you’re at a loss as to whether you’re passionate about anything, this step in the process will be especially satisfying and rewarding.


Onlyness is that thing that only that one individual can bring to a situation. It includes the journey and passions of each human. Onlyness is fundamentally about honoring each person: first as we view ourselves and second as we are valued. Each of us is standing in a spot that no one else occupies. That unique point of view is born of our accumulated experience, perspective, and vision. Some of those experiences are not as “perfect” as we might want, but even those experiences are a source for what you create.
— Nilofer Merchant